Right There All the Time

I saw her knees buckle as she began to walk down the sidewalk toward the clinic. Her friend, with her arm already around her, steadied her and handed her a half-crushed box of tissue she had tucked under her arm. It was clear from her red nose and puffy eyes that she had been crying for some time before arriving at Surgi Center’s abortion clinic.

It was obvious to everyone there that she was not wanting the abortion. There can be many reasons for this, but sometimes it is because she has been told by a doctor that either the baby is endangering her life because of some medical problem she has, or the baby is malformed in some way. It is always a difficult scenario. I saw one of the counselors holding her stomach in response to the pain she was feeling for her.

These women are more inclined to stop and talk to us. I think they just want to tell their story. Others perhaps think that we will not try to encourage them to cancel the abortion because they think we will understand and agree that they must do this.

She walked up to me with pleading eyes, grabbed hold of my arm, and begged me to pray for her right then. She spoke quickly about an ultrasound showing that her baby girl didn’t have a brain and would die soon after birth. I thought about all the times ultrasounds are wrong. She went on to say that she was in desperate need of the Lord’s help to have the abortion.

With my own tears flowing, I hugged her tightly as she clung to me. I prayed for her, assuring her of the Lord’s extravagant love for her and her unborn baby. I spoke about His desire and ability to carry her through this difficult and painful time in her life. When I declared that He is a God of miracles, I felt her body relax.

Breaking our embrace, I told her the Lord could not answer her prayer to help her have an abortion, but He could answer the prayer to help her through the pregnancy so that she could give birth to her sweet baby, hold her in her arms, and give her a name and the dignity of a burial.

“Sweetheart, you know that’s the choice that will make you feel good about yourself forever. The abortion will cause a cruel death, and because you love this child so much, you will struggle with this for the rest of your life."

She nodded with more tears flowing. She hugged me again, even harder this time. She turned to her friend and said, “I would be able to bring flowers to her then. Please take me home.”

In the remaining months of her pregnancy, she would call me repeatedly to pray with her, needing strength to withstand the pressure that the doctor and staff were putting on her to abort, implying that she was foolish to stay pregnant with a baby that would only live for 20 minutes after birth. She said they would never be able to change her mind, but their persistent pressure and lack of compassion and understanding were weighing her down.

Unmarried and very alone, she lovingly spoke to her unborn child each day, assuring her that she would continue to protect her. Nearing the end of her pregnancy, she called to say she had made the funeral arrangements. Sensing my heart breaking for her, she said, "It really is okay, Ms. Karen. I am at perfect peace. Only two more weeks and I'll be able to hold her."

When I received her next call, I was making plans to be with her for the funeral. Instead, she excitably said, “Ms. Karen, I need diapers, baby clothes, a crib, and anything else that you can bring.”

“Sure, who needs it?”

“I do. My baby was born. She weighs 8 lbs. 4 oz. and is perfectly normal."

I was so confused.

“They were wrong, Ms. Karen. They discovered I have a large benign tumor and it was in the way during the ultrasounds.”

I nearly screamed, “And tumors don’t have brains! Her brain was right there all the time!” This brave young woman stood strong against a constant barrage of criticism and encouragement to abort what would have been a perfectly healthy baby. 

“You are right, Ms. Karen. You said you can’t go wrong by doing right, and it is always right to protect an unborn baby.”

Unfortunately, not all these stories end with such joy and rejoicing. Many women and men have suffered the agony of knowing that pain and loss awaits them at birth. Many have stood strong against cruel criticism and encouragement to abort. They cannot enjoy the pregnancy, there is no plan for a fun baby shower. Instead, they live with constant confusion and hopelessness, struggling to accept that their hopes and dreams for their child have been suddenly dashed. These hero parents take on the suffering so their child does not have to suffer the pain of a violent death through an abortion. Although their pain is so very deep, in the end, they are comforted by remembering the tender care they gave their precious child. 

During post-abortion counseling women have repeatedly told me they cannot find any comfort, just unending anguish, and regret. For those that chose abortion because they have been told that their own health and life will be put in danger seem to suffer the most, saying the life that they protected, their own, is now not worth living.  

The depth of the searing pain of losing an unborn child or a newborn is beyond description. I remember clearly the pain I bore at the loss of my first baby during my mid-term pregnancy. I especially recall the pat comments such as, “You can always have another one.” Statements like that only added to my hurt, discrediting the value one little life had as if I could just get another pair of shoes! My husband and I had just moved thousands of miles away from family and friends and I felt so alone in my grief. I yearned for someone that understood, someone that would come alongside me to encourage me, to help soothe my broken heart. I never found that, and instead, I was left emotionally unbalanced for an extended period. 

How grateful I am to know that there are now organizations that recognize the need to come alongside suffering mothers and fathers to help lead them through the darkness into light and hope, not only through their words and deeds, but through the light and love of our Lord and Savior, the great Redeemer and Healer of all our hurts.

PRO-LIFE MINISTRY FOCUS



For the families who are navigating the path following a prenatal diagnosis that may result in the death of their baby prior to, or shortly after birth.

Founded by Laura Huene after she and her husband Joshua suffered the loss of their daughter, Pearl. Out of their own suffering has come the understanding of what is needed by others. Laura says that she wants other parents to feel supported and loved as they walk on the journey of saying hello and goodbye in one breath.

Thank you, Laura, for reaching out to hold the hearts and hands of others in such loving ways. To learn more about this ministry, Laura can be reached through her email at: laura@stringofpearlsonline.org.